Friday, December 17, 2004

Cannes Bertie Speak Nice French?

Cannes Bertie Speak Nice French?
By Tony Ring

You recall that young Bertie's a Magdalen man
And the idea of work left him cold.
Though the subject he studied was never revealed
I'll try now if I might be so bold.

If you re-read the words that appear in the texts
Of his French he knew more than a jot.
And you'll see from my choice of quotations below
A mot juste with sang-froid's what you got.

If the Code of the Woosters is noblesse oblige
And he'd seek to be preux chevalier,
When a lady upset him he'd be heard to sigh
Tout comprendre and c'est tout pardonner.

An amende honorable he'd be likely to give
To an aunt he'd annoyed, faute de mieux,
And to calm himself down he'd go out with ses gents,
Son chapeau et whangee de monsieur.

If the odd objet d'art became lost or perdu
And Sir Watkyn and Spode were, en masse,
On the trail in his chambre or dans son armoire
You'd hear "Voilà, it's just une impasse".

At the Drones or at home he was never alone
But from Jeeves he received most critiques,
For when Bertie proposed an idea that went wrong
He stuck firm with the same idée fixe.

You'll find all these French words in the speech he was given
Except one, which I've put in today.
But I hope that I've proved what I argued at first:
There's no doubt Bertie took a B. A.


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